"Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved."

In the December 2001 issue of Penthouse, Mitch Hedberg was asked "If you could choose, how would you end your life?" His response: "First, I'd want to get famous, and then I'd overdose. If I overdose at this stage in my career, I would be lucky if it made the back pages."

Three years later, as if a self-fulfilled prophecy, the comedian with the cult following was found dead in a hotel room in Livingston, New Jersey. Cause of death: "multiple drug toxicity" in the form of cocaine and heroin.

Today marks the anniversary of his death. 

The news of his passing wasn't formally announced until April 1, 2005, leading many to believe it was an April Fool's joke, only to discover that, of course, it was not.

I regret not having heard of Hedberg until a few years after his passing (I would have loved to have subscribed to the cult, followed him on tour, shook the man's hand). But (thank god for YouTube showing me what I otherwise never knew about), since discovering Hedberg and his signature comedic delivery of his absurd one-liner brand of observational humour, I am hooked.

Hedberg occasionally added disclaimers to the end of a joke to let the audience know that he shared their judgement of it, most notably acknowledging when jokes were poorly delivered or received with a resigned "all right." He also toyed with the audiences that failed to respond in the way he had intended them to, occasionally quipping, "That joke's better than you acted." During recordings for CDs, he would often say that he would find a way to edit a failed gag to make it seem well received, for example by "adding laughter" to a failed joke containing arithmetic. Following such a failure on Strategic Grill Locations, Hedberg suggested, "All right... that joke is going to be good because I'm going to take all the words out and add new words. That joke will be fixed." - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg

Today, March 30, I want to remember Mitch - a man who, because of stage fright, often performed while wearing sunglasses, with his head down and hair in his face, or his eyes closed so that he could avoid eye contact with the audience; who couldn't control the nervous shaking of his hands as he'd hold the microphone.

Who, with a unique presence and occasionally flubbed jokes, was on the rise. He was gonna be big. Before his death, Hedberg released three CDs, all of which I've heard many times over. His style was unparalleled. 

I can only imagine what kinda stuff he'd be coming up with today - Lord knows the world's full of enough material for a freakin' anthology of Hedberg humour. 

If you're new to the legacy of Mitch, then read on and check out a few of his classics (these will never get old):

• I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records. Nothing was alphabetized.
• I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket.
• I had one anchovy, that's why I didn't have two anchovies.
• I saw a lady on T.V. She was born without arms. Literally, she was born with her hands attached to her shoulders... and that was sad, but then they said, "Lola does not know the meaning of the word 'can't.'" And that to me was kinda worse... in a way... ya know? Not only does she not have arms, but she doesn't understand simple contractions. It's very simple, Lola, you just take two words, you put them together, then you take out the middle letter, you put a comma in there and you raise it up!
• An escalator can never break--it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience. We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there."
• Sometimes in the middle of the night, I think of something that's funny, then I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.
• You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.
• I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the fucker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. I would like to exchange this for the "keep it!"
• I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 a.m., and it said "Sorry, we're closed." You don't have to be sorry. It's 3 a.m., and you're a dry cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna walk by at 10 a.m. and say, "Hey, I walked by at 3, you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology. This jacket would be halfway done!"

And of course, a couple of clips of the man doing what he did best:

SoundTracking: Mitch All Together (Mitch Hedberg comedy)